We bond emotionally with whom we admire. Consanguinity is an arbitrary and unfair bond. We gather and raise in free groups.
The question "how do we raise kids then?" is the best argument against agamy and, simultaneously, the best argument in its favour. Of all that the rejection of the gamos leaves in abeyance, without security equivalents, is a solvent raising of kids the only thing in which a thoughtful pause cannot be afforded. Therefore, agamy is impossible without a rudiment of an alternative solution, for which we also need a viable alternative infrastructure that is missing nowadays.
But, at the same time, this hurdle, that appears once we reach the core of what is inalienable, reveals the true nature of the couple. Thus it’s shown, or rediscovered, the pre-loving consciousness that makes understanding the gamos as the tool for offspring’s production. This link is ethically intolerable. Once recognized de couple’s instrumental condition, once demystified as a mean to happiness, all its capturing power collapses.
In agamy, the allegedly natural figures of mother and father, or any other model inspired in previous ones, will not be the ones to conduct the reproductive work alienated by love.
Analysis, without naturalistic prejudices, about the minimum emotional and tutorial needs of the kids are needed. These minimum requirements will be considered their rights, and the birth of a kid must only occur under the preservation of these rights.
The human factors of these rights will be the individuals who have assumed this responsibility with all its consequences, which are the figure or figures that should be responsible for their upbringing. To make this assumption more attractive and less susceptible to over-conditioning one or more lives, it’ll be important to research the possible flexibility in parent’s identity, without damaging to the kids. Thus, the task of parenting, which can only be taken as a long-term commitment with a huge implication constitutes a much shorter time and requires much less than traditional maternity involvement. However, the kids will receive equal attention, or even more tailored to their needs, that in traditional upbringing.
Therefore, agamy not only detaches sex and sentiment in sex-sentimental relationships, turning sex into eroticism and "sentimental" complex in the development of all other aspects of relationships, but also dissociates these relations from parenting. This emancipates the two and thereby, allows both to take place in the best conditions of vocation, responsibility and freedom. Foster relationships are, primarily, relations between adults and kids, and only secondarily, and for this reason, relations between adults, without detriment to the adults relations that could be established.
Consanguinity as a natural emotional bond that leads spontaneously to mutual care, which is actually a liability rule, is thus obsolete. Family, if we can still use this term, will contract where contract is required by the nature of the bond of responsibility that binds individuals, and rely on spontaneous generation where the responsibility involved in the relation can be left in the hands of free individuals.
The renunciation of love, moreover, results in relation to daughters/sons or how people are brought up, in replacement of parental love by a conscious and responsible affectivity adapted to the needs of the children.
It’s obvious that the inverse problem of care to dependent adults, elders or sick people, must be resolved according to the same logic, in perfect harmony with the feminist economic thought which incorporates the work of care to the computable economy along with the horizon of a job which is counted out as a whole and incorporated to a happy life by means of its dis-alienation, that is to say, through their evolution in an activity which is an aim in itself and not to be exchanged for wages.
Although this alternative scheme is provided, agamy is, strictly speaking, outside the reproduction problem except, of course, in the way reproduction is itself a relationship, as agamy is the recognition of the "relationship" by removal of the particular type of relationship called “couple” and based on love. Reproduction is not, therefore, a problem that should be solve to legitimize agamy, but rather an issue that must be answered "from agamy", if we want to present it as a possible model.